You want to move HERE???

Did you know that half of the U.S. Population would move if they had the chance? Try to guess where 38 percent of you said you wanted to live? Seattle!!! My city is the third most desired city for folks wanting to move. Imagine that... All I can say is...

Just what are you people SMOKING????

Seattle????

Let me let you in on some facts about this place. There is no such thing as GREYS ANATOMY HOSPITAL. It doesn't exist. Matter of fact the show is shot in L.A. Another thing, this picture on the left was taken during one of the 6 days when it didn't rain or lately SNOW. The weather is GREAT 6 days a year over the summer. We have a tradition of celebrating the 4th of July with umbrellas. Memorial Day? Rain. Labor Day ? Rain. Easter ?, Rain. Chances are REALLY good it will rain on your birthday. If you like wearing sweaters, then you will LOVE it here, as you can wear them almost all year. Employment??? We had about a GAZILLION layoffs in Seattle in the last few weeks, with Starbucks, Boeing, WaMu, and Microsoft, all had HUGE layoffs. No one has a Job in Seattle now so even if you could move here, chances are you couldnt find work to save your behind. Want a house? Home prices in the right neighborhoods will set you back close to a Million bucks. (The homes that have this "Frasier" view (I always called it the "Frasier view"), start at 3 Million and go up from there) and that's AFTER the recent drop in home prices. Before the price drop, I couldn't write down the numbers because I personally cant count that high. The "reasonable neighborhoods are about an hour a way from downtown, which means you will have a two hour commute because the traffic is some of the worse in the Nation. Sports? The Seahawks won only 4 games this year. The Mariners lost over a 1oo games last season. Our NBA team was so bad, they MOVED. The Washington Huskies in football lost every game they played this year. The Washington State Cougars won only one game...they beat the Huskies. We are the Anti - Boston of sports. We haven't won a Major Championship since 1979. Its LOSERVILLE Death. We lead the Nation in Suicides. We have owned that title for decades. Kurt Cobain (a native of the State) killed himself right here. The worst Serial Killer in history is Ted Bundy who was tried for 25 murders but had 10 other cases that didn't have enough Evidence to get conviction, but was said to kill anywhere between 25-300 victims...of course he is from here. Even the history of Seattle is DIRTY! Skid Row came from Seattle. Back in the day this was a city of Prostitution, Gambling and drinking. You can still tour some of these places in the "Underground Seattle tour". Gold Diggers came back from Alaska and blew their new found fortune right here. It was sin city before Vegas was around. Even our most famous schoolteacher is well... her name is Mary Kay Letourneau and she married an ex-pupil 10 years after she raped him when he was just 12. I blame this all on the cloudy days.

But Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! People are caught up in the "Sleepless in Seattle" fantasy. They think this place is like the set of "Fraisier" or the cult hit "Singles". Most people who visit, REMARKABLY, catch it during the 6 days dryspell, and they tell everyone how nice Seattle is, and make a big deal about our Space Needle (Yawn) our Mountains and our BIG Mountain (Rainier) Its a VOLCANO My friends and its going to BLOW! one day and its going to be UGLY)!!! or the Starbucks on every corner (and they are on every corner in YOUR town, too) or the local Salmon (they are disappearing and pretty soon will be all farm grown) you can treat yourself to at one of the many Seafood restaurants down on the waterfront. Its fantasy!!! Its not all THAT. You would have WAY more fun in Florida, or Hawaii, or Southern California. OR, the two cities that beat Seattle / San Diego (#2) and Denver (#1). Now I can see why someone would want to move to these places, but

Seattle?

To quote Tony Soprano... "Foggetaboutit!"